Not As Advertized [Oren]

[ωΘĿƒ]

Reading - the only line of concrete sentience that was really left. Words did not change when written down; they did not alter their states of being with age and adapt. They were not alive, so why would they? And yet they were created by living, breathing, changing sentience; and that sentience for some odd reason had chosen to imbue its exact imprint onto eternity for the perhaps single moment that it chose. Then, out of all other changing, fluctuating sentience, that one stage will be recorded forever.

It was brilliant, really. A cheat to death in a way.

Le Cyll had always loved to read, which, considering how much he enjoyed the living counterpart called speech, was really remarkable. Why then? He did not know. Perhaps it was in fact the permanence and cencreteness of such things as written words? While everything else spun into insane, roaring chaos penned words alone stayed neat and clean and orderly and stationary. Perhaps? It was just a thought.

And going on the assumption that this thought was correct, then it would make sense that Le Cyll might spend increasingly more time in the Library than normal. He needed the stability. Any shmuck of the street could see it. You did not need a clinically trained psychiatrist to see that he was feeling rather... stressed, shall we say? Under the weather in a mental capacity? However you described it, he was developing some odd habits if he did say so himself. Running about in the middle of the night, unable to sleep. And when he could sleep the dreams were... unbearable.

It was better to simply occupy himself. When class let out, he immediately would find himself here. No sky, no stream to fish for trout, no wandering about in the wilderness. He needed to be distracted, and nature now more than ever was the ever changing, confusing enemy - although he could remember a time not long ago that he would have loved to do such pleasant things as commune with it.

Too bad. And so life goes on, and he picks up another book to keep life from running him over. This one was an interesting find, actually. It was a journal of some sort from... Japan? Yes. He thought so. He could not read the words when he first saw it, but since he had nothing better to do than keep himself so occupied, he had taken to learning every aspect of the language jsut to read this strange little book.

And so he had. It had taken a month - not a day more. He was now quite fluent, if he did say so himself. The journal was almost finished too. He only had one entry left to read.

Taking it down from its place on the shelf, Le Cyll then found himself reclining into the old familiar spot that had become his newfound second home of sorts. It was a comfortable armchair within a lovely depression in the sea of books. The small cranny was quite pleasant, because he doubted anyone came this far into the library to search for something.

Why would they? Were they going crazy too?

Opening the last part of the journal, Le Cyll began to read over it with the determination that only an extraordinarily focused and imperiled mind might.

He took his time, knowing that he needed to span this distraction out as long as possible for it to be completely effective.

[Oren]

Today was another library day. Kendryek would spend his whole day in the library researching different subject’s he’d encountered during the pat the week. It was a little different, this time, though. He was keeping an eye out for someone in particular. In the past week he had heard something quite troubling: Le Cyll wasn’t… “wasn’t doing well” was the nicest way he could think to put it.

Slowly walking each isle, he scanned the titles while keeping one eye out for the wolf. Kendryek knew how paranoid the poor thing could get—it wouldn’t do to make him all suspicious. That would end with deaf ears for meaningful words to fall on.

Kendryek hated that.

If the person you were talking to wasn’t going to listen, why say anything at all? Now, if they wanted the help, even if only a little, speaking up would be worth it. He was hoping Le Cyll would be more open to talking, maybe now was the best time of all to help the wolf. But that didn’t excuse the fact that Kendryek hadn’t known about his distress. He kept up with the students, yes, but Le Cyll had thought that he was stalking him. It wouldn’t do for him to keep tabs on the kludde; that was stalking in a way. At any rate, Le Cyll would think it was.

And that was the root of the problem. Le Cyll and Kendryek saw things very differently and Kendyrek knew that he didn’t see things correctly 100% of the time. Many times he needed a good lashing, preferably a verbal one, to make him realize his mistake. In his old age it was very easy to grow tired and learn to stop caring for others. That was why Kendryek typically liked having one close friend. They could correct him when he was wrong, not that anyone at the school was good for the position. Cassiel, maybe, but the angel was too strict. He would need to change a lot of his views before Kendryek could ever truly enjoy his company.

It was getting sort of monotonous going up and down the isles. Many would say that it wasn’t worth it but to Kendryek it was. Le Cyll meant a lot to him, which is why he had stayed away. The wolf didn’t like him, that much was obvious, but he was young and needed guidance. From what White had said he was receiving direction but he was being steered the wrong way and by someone Kendryek did not like.

With a great sigh he decided to go sit down for a bit. There was a place not far from where he was where a comfy recliner sat. He didn’t use it often because more often than not he had too many books to sit in the small place. But today, after all, was an unusual day so why not visit the backs of the library.

When he reached the very back wall and turned the corner he stopped in his tracks. Someone was already back here. It typically wouldn’t be too surprising but the person wasn’t anyone; it was Le Cyll. A wave a relief washed over Kendryek. At least the wolf didn’t look much different. And he still had an interest in books! That was a good sign! But there was no telling how much damage was done unless he talked to him.

“Ah, well hello Le Cyll! I didn’t expect to see you here.” He began walking again, content that what he had said wasn’t a lie: it had never occurred to him that the kludde would be back here. Extending his hand like he did to all friends he hadn’t seen in a while he said, “How have you been?”

[ωΘĿƒ]

So absorbed in his book now, Le Cyll hardly heard the sound of the footsteps as they padded towards him, hardly noticed the distinct smell of something not the books as it bore down on him, barely conceived the sound of the voice as it spoke... and when he did notice all these things, he was quite startled. The wolf looked up, not quickly, but abruptly, as if completely confused as to where he was or even what this was all about.

In a moment though, he understood, and that seemed to make the smallest, most minute of frowns form on his clean-lined, earnest face.

"Kendryek" it was said without any tone at all - void of anything besides the simple sound of the word. And although eh frowned, was it really that, or simply his way of realizing he was being spoken to? It was difficult to tell - specifically because Le Cyll was not emotive at all.

This was a place of sanctuary. Why would he need to be so wastefully frivolous with emotion here? He should be quiet, austere like everyone else. He should seek knowledge and be willing to spend hours in a day in its absorption. He need not lie, feel, think here. This was only a place for reading.

Just reading. Le Cyll blinked, trying to respond as easily as possible.

"Get away from me."

Yet again, there was no tone to this. Not a speck of anger, nor a pinprick of malice, hate, fear, apprehension. IT was nothing more than a statement, meant exactly as it was said to mean - it was the sum of its words and nothing else.

But to clarify, Le Cyll meant more to say this in an attempt to actually make Kendryek leave, not cause any injury or "hard feelings." Why he has said this? Well quite frankly - and he was very increasingly becoming a frank person to his dismay - he was thinking of Kendryek becoming aware of Hendrix, and of Kendryek knowing about that sound that would not go away and strangely appeared right after Kednryek did.

Perhaps he was worried for Hendrix - that he may not share the same fate as Le Cyll. Perhaps he was purely upset and angry at Kendryek for interrupting him and plaguing him with this voice and knowing the only way to rid himself of it was clear - to cut off the dragon's head and let the voice see it and leave him in peace. Perhaps he was worried for himself, and his frail mental state at the moment. Perhaps it was even that he had noticed Kendryek keeping his distance, and the thought had crossed his mind that Kendryek was doing this out of respect for the fact that Le Cyll was a wounded animal, in need of time to lick his wounds alone.

It could be many things... but not even Le Cyll knew if any of the above was true, or if none of it was.

He simply wanted Kendryek to leave, and he has said it in the most polite way he could under the circumstances.

Would he listen? Le Cyll did not even bother to think about that. He would if he wished, but then he may as well just stay, yes?

The damage was done. Le Cyll continued to read his book, as if uninterrupted.

[Oren]

Immediately Kendryek could sense the lack of caring in the wolf. It was almost a lack of being. Le Cyll seemed to resemble a robot more than an actual being. The lack of emotion was almost frightening. Lack of emotion in itself was not the chilling part though; it was seeing a friend who used to have so much emotion, so much hatred, inside of them now devoid of any feeling. It was heartbreaking. It brought a chill to the room and often sent shivers up one’s spine. Even Kendryek had to steal himself to the situation. Those with no feeling were often unmoved by other’s feelings. Therefore, showing Le Cyll his worry would do nothing for him.

”There is no reason for departure,” he said flatly as he sat on the floor and began reading. His voice wasn’t void of feeling, by no meaning. Le Cyll knew he wasn’t emotionless, it would be fishy if he suddenly didn’t show it. Instead, he said it in a matter-of-fact way. There was a tone to it that told most that they should not question him. How well that tone would work on the wolf… there was no telling.

It was amazing how being close to someone you were worrying about brought comfort. Not a lot, to be sure, but there was that slightest feeling of well-being. But everything was not alright. Le Cyll had been poisoned, spoiled, rotted.

It was almost repulsive.

But he’d have to stand it for a little while, if not a long while. He wasn’t happy about it, but he was glad for the opportunity to help Le Cyll. Not to mention it distracted his mind from the upcoming destruction that was bound to happen. The responsibilities that were slowly being thrust upon him were by no means wanted but he would accept them if he saw the need was great enough.

As he opened the book he smiled at the familiar words. He’d read this one many times yet it never seemed to get old. He wondered if Le Cyll ever read something so much to his taste that he would read it again and again. Probably not but there was no way of knowing.

[ωΘĿƒ]

It was quiet. So very quiet. Most of the time he would not mind this quiet - it meant that nothing was stirring around him. But for some strange reason this quiet was not like that. It was a cruel kind of quiet that emanated from the place where deceptively there was not one living thing but two. Two. He did not like that number. It involved Kendryek in this particular instance. Not that he minded Kendryek. No. Why would he? Why would he mind a pure, a chivalrous, a good thing like Kendryek.

What possible reason could there be?

And that was it, wasn't it? Someone that called themselves good and yet caused so much pain and so much misery. How could that be good? He had met someone the other day... so vile and so despicable, and yet... and yet... Kendryek is the one he must watch for.

God forbid he do anything to upset Kendryek....

This simple, subtle barrier from all things that were so jagged and broken seemed to become much more apparent then; and with its appearance so it broke. And the flood came. The hate the fear... What was this? What did an of it do or mean to him? Why did it concern him at all?

And why was Kendryek still here!

Le Cyll snapped the book shut, loudly, and stood. He couldn't take this what... What?!?! What was this all for?? He did not know, not could he understand! For what reason what Kendryek doing this to him!?!


"What...." he said, not asked but said, as if he would never receive and answer from this question so why bother making it so?

"What, do you want from me...?"

He had asked himself this many times before. Perhaps in this manner, perhaps not. But it was always the same. Why did Kendryek do this?? Did he want Le Cyll to be something? A kind of pet for the dragon to play with like he was now? A good person? Something clean and neat and moral and not so very confused as he was now? Did he want this pain to happen? It seemed so very much that he did...

"And what if I were to kill myself, would you follow me there?!" The wolf growled, clenching his fists.

Not really understanding what he wanted or what he was trying to get across - because apparently you are not allotted these luxuries while in such a sad state as he - Le Cyll turned to leave.

Yes... He would leave. And do something... Maybe he should slice someone up, yes? Or do what that Hendrix did? Him and his own personal monsters... Or maybe... Maybe he should simply end it all? It would be so easy...

So easy... This was not easy.

[Oren]

When Le Cyll started to speak Kendryek looked at him over the top of his book. A few seconds later he looked at the wolf fully, deeming this important enough for his full attention. After all, half of what to wolf said was meaningless ramble. Then another fourth was self-pitying garble. This was one of the instances when the wolf was actually asking for someone to listen and respond to what he was saying. That meant one thing that sparked a little hope inside Kendryek.

Le Cyll’s ears were open. He was listening for a response.

The last question seemed rhetorical. Even if it wasn’t it really didn’t need answering for the moment. Of course Kendryek wouldn’t follow Le Cyll to the grave. One life lost was not something to be caught up about when there were so many more that needed a friend. Besides, he’d have much larger problem than Kendryek if he were to die any time soon.

But if Kendryek knew what a problem he was to the wolf… then why did he continue to bother him? Just as one life lost was not worth losing the others, a short time of dejection and pain were worth the outcome of a saved life. Kendryek didn’t actually know who was getting the better end of the deal. Le Cyll was being handed an opportunity to have self-confidence, among other things, and a new friend. Kendryek was being offered a new friend and the opportunity to watch him grow up and live life. He wasn’t sure which was worth more. Perhaps they were equal.

As the wolf stood to leave the dragon said, “I want you to let me help you.”

He turned his head so that he was still looking at the wolf. He couldn’t explain what he felt when he looked at Le Cyll. It wasn’t that of a father, definitely not, but it seemed to be more than just a friend. It almost had the feeling of a brother. A brother was someone you felt responsible for, someone you would do almost anything for, and someone you would be honest with. This was Le Cyll to Kendryek. He knew that the feelings weren’t shared. It had probably never even crossed the wolf’s mind to treat Kendryek like a brother. Odds were that Le Cyll had a horrible misconception of what a brother should be so even if it was suggested he would reject the offer.

But maybe… maybe if Kendryek could show him… maybe if Le Cyll would give him the opportunity.

[ωΘĿƒ]

There were many things one could say to that... such a bold statement as it was. Kendryek had been saying from the beginning how he wanted to help. He wanted to help. He just wanted to help! It was odd. He should have been infuriated by this statement. What a crass idea... that he should need help. There was no help. It was something that simply did not exist to him - this "freebie" in the grand scheme of life. You were not thrown food when you were starving, you were not given shelter when it was cold, and you were certainly not offered such frivolous things as help when you felt quite down enough to hang by a rope. The very notion of it implied weakness, and Le Cyll was by no means weak. Sniveling. Cowardly. He needed no such things... nor the relief that was offered from them.

But he could not become so enraged and indignant at this remark. He could not, in all his mastery of the linguistic arts, explain this concept to Kendryek. He could not even speak, it seemed, so instead he simply snorted, eyes narrowing, and left without a word. There was no point in remaining if he could not even get his point across.

There was no way to fight, so he simply left.